The Bedbug Platform

I have two small purplish dots on my right cheek. The first is a remnant of my battles with bedbugs: I got bit three times on the face, and the most prominent one stayed on as a relic of my insectian war.

But then I got a little zit under the bite, and this bump is lingering too (Apparently the bed bugs have struck deeper than I thought!). Now it looks like I have two zits. I was OK when people thought I had one, cause I knew it was a bite. Two, though, is displeasing. I would rather people did not think I had two zits.

This is why I'm running on the platform to eradicate all bedbugs from the face of the planet forever. I know it's a controversial issue, but I'm ignoring smaller issues such as the war in Iraq, human rights, social security, and taxes to take on an issue that counts: Kicking Some Bedbug ASS!

And yes, Will Smith will be my running mate, since I need someone to both kick the tires and light the fires. Harry Connick Jr. will be the head of Homeland Security. Syam-Smith '08!